Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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