if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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