So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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