I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize