Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ugly people sure do ruin things
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
