it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I see more hoeing in ur future
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
