Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
