Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
