Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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