Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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