PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
