So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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