I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
