I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i think im in europe. pls send help
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize