Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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