Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
