listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
