Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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