So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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