I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
