how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
