best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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