sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
