its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
