I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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