I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
