I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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