Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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