I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
