Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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