Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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