Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
