Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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