Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
