Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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