my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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