i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
