I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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