How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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