is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
