Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
