On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
