yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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