i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
