my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
