girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize