Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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