Its about making memories worth repressing
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
