just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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