All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
