Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
