My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
