I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
