I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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