you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize