jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
