I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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