have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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