I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
