she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize