shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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