try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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