the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
