We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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