Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
