It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
