I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
