If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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