Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
